I started DDBS shortly after the 2016 presidential election.
Trump won. Everybody was losing their sanity. People were calling in “sick-to-their-stomach” to work, having all eaten the same bad lasagna. People at work turned hostile towards the Trump supporters. High schoolers skipped school and people went out to the streets to protest America’s new CEO. Everybody posting on Facebook was “so disappointed in America” asking “how could they let this happen” because “now we’re all doomed” and “we should have elected Clinton, at least she had some experience.”
Me:
I wondered: why do people care this much? Why does national politics have such a huge effect on everybody’s happiness?
The days after the election were some of my most entertaining days of 2016. The shitstorm Entertainment was everywhere: Facebook posts, news articles, op-ed pieces, people’s reactions, their faces when I told them I didn’t care who won.
The election results would have no effect on my life. It’s dumb to me to try to worry about something that I have zero chance of influencing.
So why is everyone so depressed? What’s everybody so worried about? I’m sure the happy ones are going to be depressed in four or eight years or twelve years – whenever the other team wins again.
So what the problem is?
Someone said to me before the election,
“How can you say that? The outcome of this election is going to be crucial to our national security and foreign relations. If enough people thought like you, we’ll lose all of our political power and won’t be able to make positive change.”
Haha, okay now.
“The world is falling apart and you don’t care about our national security or the future that we are going to leave for our children?”
Well there you’re totally wrong. I care substantially. Any sane person should care. Don’t you care?
But what does the election have to do with it? What if the other team won, would things be any different?
How do I explain to you that it wouldn’t and get you to stop worrying about it?
Completely unrelated from the election, I saw people doing stupid, stupid things. To this day, even with the ability to gather information about almost anything on the internet to make well-informed decisions, people are still:
- Making financial decisions that would make it harder for them to enjoy life
- Choosing to eat things that will kill them sooner, even if the alternative is healthier
- Live with a mental framework that keeps them constantly chasing some thing that would change their lives forever, instead of actively going after it.
I started this site because people have gone crazy.
I started this site to share what I have learned that makes me not care about the outcome of the election.
I started this site to push people to improve their lives instead of waiting for some majestic event.
No, it’s not going to be a bunch of this shit:
I started this site to challenge the way we think because there are too many things we blindly accept without proper due diligence.
I will challenge the because that’s what’s right mentality that leads us into so many traps in our daily lives.
My hope is that you will be able to improve your life simply by challenging your beliefs and breaking down the mental framework that so often holds us back because – believe it or not – it’s all mental.
Sure, there are things that can improve your life (money, things, people…) but you first need to have that mental framework which leads to a happy, meaningful, fulfilling life.
Without that framework, you will fall into many, many traps.
How do I know this?
Because I’ve fallen for these traps.
The first time I realized that I had fallen into a trap was just after starting high school. I had been falling for this trap my entire life and I didn’t even know it. I was falling for it because I learned from my parents who were falling for it. I didn’t – couldn’t – know any better.
And once I realized it, I started seeing it everywhere. A bit like the way that car you’ve been eyeing starts showing up all over the streets.
That’s the crazy thing about these traps: you fall for them unconsciously. They are not labeled. They do not have ‘caution’ on them. They do not discriminate. In many cases, they are encouraged and promoted.
Don’t fall into them.
But how will you avoid them if you don’t know how to spot them?
Ah, that’s why DDBS exists – to help you to identify these traps.
As you read, you may find that you have already fallen into some of these traps.
That’s OK. There’s no problem with that. I don’t blame you. Happened to me too.
But, once you know about them, it falls on you to fix it and get the hell out of there. Nobody else will do it for you.
You have to take full responsibility for what happens in your life – negative consequences included. It’s not my problem. It’s not the president’s problem. It’s not society’s problem. It is 100% your problem.
Regardless of whose fault it is, it’s still your problem.
Quick, get out of the trap!
I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be easy to update your mental framework to see these traps. And quickly, in this case, may mean many years. And you’ll have to make some difficult choices – big choices – and stick with it before you get anywhere.
It wasn’t easy for me. Most people have a really, really hard time. Some people can’t do it because their ego prevents them.
I know some people who think they are too smart to be trapped.
Ever heard the saying, “the best marks are the ones that think they can’t be conned”?
Actually, I’m just going to say that I think that most of you reading this will not take steps to improve your life even after you know about the trap.
Why?
I don’t know why, but I can guess:
Because changing is hard.
It’s easy to come up with any excuse as to why you can’t change or how it doesn’t apply to you. Or even why it’s not a trap.
It’s easy to look at an alternate argument and dismiss it because it you’ve already seen all the counterarguments.
Most of you reading this are never going to get it. Most of you are going to keep making excuses. Years from now, most of you are going to wonder what went wrong when the answer was right under your nose the entire time.
But some of you will figure it out.
For those that do get it, that do want to improve, this site is for you.
Thank you for being awesome.
Think of this site as a repository of my learnings coupled with self-exploration and self-accountability to keep me on track to improving my life.
I went from having a very negative outlook on life and the future (just look at what’s happening in national politics, they’re gonna ruin everything!) to quite the opposite (haha, look at what’s happening in national politics, what’ll they think of next?).
I did this without any major change in net worth, prospects, material wealth, lifestyle, or people in my life.
So what changed?
Only myself.
Super cliche, I know.
I learned a new way of looking at things. I changed my mentality.
After I did that, my net worth, prospects, material wealth, lifestyle, and relationships have all started to move up and to the right.
Oh, just so you know, the election results did affect me very deeply. I am a bit scared for the future now that Trump is elected.
What will you see on DDBS?
The title gives it away.
Naturally, there will be a lot of trap identification – but that’s not all.
I plan to share my own personal experiences – how I got to where I am today, how I plan to get to where I’m going, and how it goes along the way.
I will share some of my learnings and the tools I’m using – hopefully they will be helpful to you as well.
I’ll share the stupid things, how I came to realize they were stupid, and why they were stupid.
I’d also like to hear from you – there’s a contact link up there.
Have you found any traps you’d like people to know about?
I’ve learned a lot of things about myself and the world, but there is always more.
So, let’s get on with it.
Posts will be infrequent. I’m working full time and want to push high quality content.
If you subscribe, I’ll email you when there’s a new post so you don’t have to ever check back on your own.
Although it’s tempting, I’m not going to make this into a click-baity news source that profits from page views. You won’t see any ads. Ever.
If I do recommend any particular product or service it’s coming from me. If someone decides to pay me for it, well, that’s good for me. But you’ll be told if that ever happens.
Welcome to DDBS.
-Don
PS: To see what this post would have looked like if Clinton won, click here.
Just from reading this is making me motivated to change myself, as you did! Growing up, I was surrounded by “do it because it is that way” or “this is what it is so believe it” without even thought or question. It makes me wonder how do we break out of that and learn/start to question everything? Excited to see what future posts you’ll have, and to see how you live life.
Thanks for the kind words. I hope you enjoy the site.
The ‘it is because it is’ mentality is quite interesting. Growing up in a traditional foreign-type household, I was surrounded by this way of thinking. We did things just because we had always done them that way.
Some advice is good, some is bad. My grandma would cook with turmeric because her mom and her grandma and so on would cook with it – she had no idea why. Modern science has found it to have cancer inhibiting properties. It’s as if people figured this out long ago and starting cooking with turmeric.
-Don